Messed up Holidays
by Cookeh
Summary: Holidays YGO style
1. a horrible beginning

Okay…so I gave up on my last story. Big whoop! Well actually I gave up on ideas. ; Well since today's Christmas Eve I decided to make a special Yugioh fan fic. Today I'll be writing a Christmas one and I'll have the other chapter (new years) up by Wednesday the latest. I would have it up sooner but my computer doesn't care for anyone else but it's self. Well read, review and enjoy but most of all…

Cast of YuGiOh: Have a Merry Christmas!!!

…Or as I would say, have a Happy Chrismahunukwanzzakuh!!!

-Psychotic Phreak

Disclaimer: I don't own yugioh…only this fan fic and my computer –smacks computer-… I rather own YuGiOh…--

**-------------------------------------------**

**-A Weird Beginning-**

It was a noisy day in the city of Domino. Mostly because it was Christmas Eve and almost everyone was catching up on their holiday shopping. Everything was so merry and joyous. Nothing could possibly ruin anyone's day. Everyone was so happy and jolly. Well not everyone that is…

"I can't believe you knocked Santa out!!!" Tea screamed.

"Well how was I supposed to know that Santa was the real thing?" Joey questioned.

Yugi sighed, "Joey, that was the Santa that WORKED at the mall…"

"Oh"

"So now we have to pick one of us to be Santa, Santa's helper, and the elf," Bakura said.

Everyone looked at each other and at the two Yamis that looked very annoyed.

"So how are we going to solve this?" Yami suddenly asked.

The group of 8 (Yugi, Yami, Bakura, Yami Bakura, Joey, Tristan, Tea, and Duke) started to think. Suddenly Tristan shot his hand up.

" I know. We can draw straws. There will be two straws one short and one slightly shorter than that. Whoever draws the short one has to be Santa. While the one who draws that slightly shorter one has to be Santa's helper. Then from there we'll just vote off whoever should be the elf."

"I'm not drawing anything," Yami Bakura stated.

"I'm with the tomb robber. I say make Joey the Santa" Yami said, "Whatever happened to the elf and Santa's helper?"

"I don't know, but they disappeared shortly after Santa ended up in the hospital" Duke said.

"Damn! I didn't know I was dat good!" Joey said to himself

"Yami, you and my yami have to be in it because then it wouldn't be fair." Bakura pleaded, "And besides…" Bakura started a mind link with his Yami, "Maybe Yami will be stuck with the job of Santa!"

"I'm in!!!!" Yami Bakura nearly shouted.

After Yami Bakura threatened to kill Yugi, Yami finally gave in to being part of it. The group got straws and put Tristan in charge of 'trimming' them. After for what seemed like an eternity, Tristan held out the straws. Everyone picked one straw and then showed it to everyone. You could say that some were surprised at who got the job of Santa…but I'd be lying. Lets just say they were scared as hell…

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! DO I LOOK LIKE I SHOULD BE YOUR FUCKING SANTA?!? I ONLY AGREED TO DO THIS TO SEE THE PHARAOH DRESS UP LIKE A GIANT RED SACK OF CRAP!!!" Yami Bakura yelled

"Can any good come of this?" Yugi asked Bakura

"Nope" Bakura replied. Yami just took one look at Yami Bakura and stated laughing his ass off. Suddenly Yami Bakura grabbed Yami by the jacket collar and said, "Wanna make something of it Pharaoh?!? I'll be more than happy to castrate you in front of everyone right n-oh what's this?" Yami Bakura picked up Yami's hand to reveal a slightly shorter straw.

"Guess you're my slave huh Pharaoh?"

Yami looked confused for a second. Then he looked at his hand. He couldn't believe it. Out of rage he broke free from Yami Bakura's grasp. "This is a hoax!!! I can't work FOR the tomb robber!!! Heck, I'm his master. Do you know what that means? That means that I rule over him…and all you peasants!!!"

Yami Bakura just stood there unfazed by his outburst. "Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say"

"Okay?" Tea interrupted, "Now that we got that over with any doubts about this pai-"

"YES" Yami interrupted

"Besides the deranged spirit?" Tea continued annoyed

"Nope none whatsoever" Everyone seemed to reply in unison.

"So out of curiosity, who's going to be the elf?" Yugi asked

Everyone looked at each other and said, " You"

"Why?"

"Cuz you're small enough" Joey snickered

"Huh?! Oh no there is no way you guys are going to make me work with dumb and dumber! Guys? GUYS?!"

**-Later-**

There was a long line of kids waiting to meet Santa and get their picture taken with him. At Santa's chair sat a very content spirit, and at his side was a taller, angry version of the elf.

"Hey! Slave uh…I mean 'helper' get me a glass of soda!" Yami Bakura barked.

"Why am I doing this" Yami mumbled to himself.

"I can't believe they made me do this" Yugi said to no one in particular

"Hey, slave didn't you hear my demand?!? Or do you fail to even comprehend that?!" Yami Bakura yelled a little too loudly. Yami set off for a soda. He later came back. "You're late bastard" Yami Bakura sneered while he took the soda. Suddenly he spit the soda out…all over Yami. "This shits hot!! I specifically said cold you good for nothing bastard!!!"

Yami was staring to crack, so he started mocking Yami Bakura, "I specifically said cold…No you didn't you fucking piece of shit!"

Yami Bakura threw the cup at Yami and Yami dodged it and ran to push Yami Bakura off the chair and started punching him repeatedly. All the children gasped. The gang just stood there speechless. The two spirits were fighting, punching, kicking…and yes even biting each other just because they hated each other. Soon enough everyone heard a scream in their direction. Yami Bakura held a knife in his hand.

"Take one more step and you'll be 6ft under and no one will ever see or hear from you again!!!"

"I'd like to see you try!" Yami shot back. Just then the security guards came and held back an angry Santa on one side and an angry elf-like creature on the other.

"You wouldn't really do that Santa would you?" one kid said

"You'd be surprised," Yami Bakura said.

Tea shot Yami Bakura a death glare and told him to sush. Suddenly one of the police officers came up to Yugi and Bakura and said, " Hey uh, do you two youngsters know these two freaking lunatics?"

Yugi and Bakura looked at each other and then Yugi replied, " Uh…we never saw them before in our lives."

"Yeah, umm…I just saw them today trying to impersonate us," Bakura said. Yami and Yami Bakura looked at them in shock.

"Why does everyone always say that about me?!?" Yami Bakura yelled

"Why you lousy good for nothing-" Yami started to say but was roughly cut off by one of the officers. "C'mon we're going downtown."

"Uhh…Yug?" Joey started

"Wha?"

"Uh…how do you suppose that they're going to get home?"

"Easy, they can't last 2 seconds alone with each other. When they get paired up in a jail cell together, I know that one of them will end up cracking and will try and kill the other. Somehow they'll end up using shadow magic and break down a wall of the jail cell. When they see that they're out of jail they'll settle their differences and find their way home…either that or get lost."

"That's nice…I guess."

"C'mon guys lets go home."

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Psycho Phreak- Soooo…how'd ya like?

Yami- Nice I guess…but why'd I have to get nearly pelted with a cup and be that tomb robbers slave?

Psycho Phreak- Uhh… review!!

Yami- Hey! You didn't answer my question!!!


	2. and so it continues and ends

Back again with chp 2 on the same night! Whoo hoo! Well this might be at least 3 pages or less…mostly because I'm tired. Well here ya go. Happy Holidays!

-Psycho Phreak

Uhh…Joey disclaimer please!

Joey- Right…ahem…Psycho Phreak/Anubis/Aqua do/does not own me or anyone in YuGiOh for that matter. Damn talk about split personality.

-

**X-Mas Eve**

It was a quiet Christmas Eve at the Mutou residence. Yami was lying down on the couch watching TV. Yugi was up making popcorn for a movie that they were going to watch. This was a very exhausting and hectic day for him. Well it was mostly hectic because of the incident at the mall…and as you can see, he was trying his best to put that incident behind him. That wasn't working. Suddenly there was a sound of electric cracking and the lights went out.

"Yugi! The lights went out!" Yami yelled

"I am well aware of that YAMI!" Yugi yelled back

"Why are you yelling?" Yami yelled

"I'm yelling because you're yelling!" Yugi yelled back

"But if you're yelling because I'm yelling, why am I yelling because you're right next to me?" Yami yelled

Yugi sighed, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"What!" Yami yelled

Yugi left the room and went downstairs to the basement. He went to open the electrical box. Meanwhile upstairs Yami thought he could do some 'fixing' of his own. Yami went to the electrical outlet behind the TV. He had always wondered if the outlet would still contain electricity if the power were cut. Yami got a pair of scissors and stuck it in at just about the same time Yugi turned the power back on. A shrill cry that was heard upstairs followed by a loud thump that startled Yugi. The power went out again.

"Huh? Yami!"

No sound was heard after that. Yugi flicked the power back on and rushed upstairs. On his way up, the light flickered but stayed lit. Once Yugi got upstairs, he saw sprawled out on the floor in front of him, a unconscious yami whose hair was at least 3 times it's normal size and up in smoke (let alone the fact that the room was also up in smoke).

"Oh my god! YAMI!"

**-Elsewhere-**

It was such a joyous occasion over at Kaiba Corp. Well almost joyous that is. If you count the fact that Kaiba refused to participate in anything that involved the spirit of Christmas. Mokuba had begged and pleaded his big brother to spend the night sitting by an open fire, singing Christmas carols, and even decorating the tree, but his ass of a brother wouldn't budge. He kept on saying that he had a lot of work to do, he didn't have time for kids stuff. Heck, he even told his brother that there wasn't a Santa Claus. But that wouldn't keep our little Mokie down. No siree. He put up his OWN tree, made his OWN cookies (with the help of the maids). He even spent the whole day by an open fire…wait there's something wrong with that sentence. The whole day? Damn, the kids finally lost it. Did you ever know that doing that might turn you into a young Yami Bakura? You know with all the stealing and murdering and "Burn…BURN!". Well enough on that, let me get back to the story. Ahem…as I was saying…Kaiba was so busy with his work that basically nothing else mattered to him. Especially not his brother, or the holidays for that matter.

It was like 3pm in the Kaiba mansion and Kaiba was still sleeping. Mokuba was…well looking at fire.

"Look at how it burns…"

Enough on that story. Well Seto woke up and looked at the time it was. It was 3pm. Then decided not to get out of bed. The phone rang and not either one of the Kaiba brothers felt like picking up. It rang over, and over, and over, and over, and over…

"Mokuba! Pick up the phone!" Kaiba yelled in between sleep and reality

Mokuba never stopped looking at the fire and just picked up the phone that was right next to him, "Fire…"

"Uh…Mokuba? Are you okay?" Tea asked worriedly

"Fire…light…must set fire…"

"…"

"Crisp…spark…fire…"

"O…kay? Uh…is your brother there? I got to ask him something."

Mokuba set the phone down gently and yelled "FIRE!". Kaiba nearly jumped a mile off his bed and started panicking. "What? What?" Then like a normal person he picked up his phone and started dialing 911. "Hello? 911? There's a fire in my house!"

"Uhh…Kaiba?" Tea began

"Yes! My name is Seto Kaiba the C.E.O and president of Kaiba Corp. and I called to report a fire in my mansion! I demand you get your ass over here right now if you value your job!"

"Just to let you know, this is Tea"

"Huh? Gardner what the hell are you doing on my phone! Don't you know that this is an emergency!"

"Heh, well personally I don't think there's a fire in your house…err mansion"

"Yeah, well how would you know?"

"I think you should REALLY pay more attention to Mokuba…he's scaring me"

"So? That's what little brothers are supposed to do!"

Tea sighed and continued on, "Whatever, look I just wanted to call you to tell you that we're having a Christmas party at Yugi's and that you and Mokuba are invited."

"What would make you think that I would want to go?"

"Mokuba's going crazy and you are slowly losing your grip on reality. Well anyways I'll see you at 6. Later!"

"Well-" Just then Tea hung up and Seto found himself talking to the dial tone. "Whatever" Seto got up from off the floor and looked at the time. It was 4pm. He got dressed and went down stairs. He saw Mokuba sitting in front of the fire and not blinking a bit. Then he suddenly felt sorry for the guy. He knew how much Christmas meant to the kid and he neglected it. He looked at he watch, 5pm. 'Damn time flies when you're getting changed' he thought. Then said, "Hey um…Mokuba, I mean Mokie…umm…there's going to be a Christmas party at…Yugi's …and I was thinking if maybe you wanted to…umm…go?"

Mokuba didn't move or turn to look at his brother. He just said, "Flame…" Which counting from the distance that they were apart, sounded to Kaiba as, "Okay…".

Kaiba frowned at this since he didn't really want to spend a night with that midget crowd. "Okay then be ready at 6"

"Fate…(Great…)"

**-Elsewhere (again)-**

Friends and…one yami, all started appearing at Yugi's front door. They all went inside and put gifts under the tree. I f you want to know exactly who showed up, here's the list: Tea, Duke, Joey, Tristan, Mai, Rebecca, Bakura, Yami Bakura, Kaiba, Mokuba, Marik, Ishizu, and Odion. Lets just say that all these people showed up except the Kaiba brothers.

"Heh, what's up with the pharaoh?" Yami Bakura asked snickering.

"Since when do you care tomb robber!" Yami shot back

"Looks like Yami had a close encounter with death…again" Marik stated.

"If you have to know, our certain pharaoh here discovered what it's like to get shocked by 800 volts of electricity." Yugi said with a smile on his face. Yami Bakura, Marik, Joey, Duke, Rebecca, and Tristan started laughing their asses off. Yami sunk in his seat.

"Hey" Yami Bakura started, "What do you get when you cross an electrical outlet and a 5000 yr old spirit? A crippled pharaoh!"

"Not funny Kura" Tea replied

"Screw you!"

Suddenly the bell rang.

" I'll get it" Yugi said enthusiastically

He ran downstairs to open the door. It was the Kaiba brothers.

"Uh…Hey Kaiba. Didn't know your were ACTUALLY coming" Yugi said nervously

"Well I'm here because of Mokuba"

Yugi glanced at Mokuba who was looking at a picture of him and the fireplace. "What's with him?"

"Don't know. So are you going to let us in or not?"

"Oh sure come on in"

Yugi let them in and showed them upstairs. Joey was sitting near the fireplace. Mokuba glanced up and gasped.

"Fire!" And with that he ran over, pushed Joey out of the way and sat in front of it.

"O…kay?" Joey said confused, "Hey! What's moneybags duin here? I thought he wasn't up for Christmas cheer."

"As I said before, I'm here for the sake of Mokuba. Not like I would want to spend time with you losers." Kaiba stated, " What's with the pharaoh. Got set on fire or something?"

By this point Yami was really mad. So mad that electricity started running through his hair (weird huh?). "As a matter of fact no! I got electrocuted! There happy now! Huh? Are ya!"

"As a matter of fact yes"

Yami grumbled and sat back down. Then Yami Bakura spoke up, "Hey pharaoh how's about we replace the star on the tree with you! I mean you fit the figure perfectly! I mean you tend to 'light up'."

"SHUT UP!"

As the night went on people talked and shared secrets. Well except for Yami, Yami Bakura, Mokuba, and Kaiba. Yami refused to talk to anyone. Yami Bakura was just self-conceited. Kaiba just thought too much of himself. And Mokuba…well he just…stared at the fire for the rest of the night.

"Fire…"

Will you stop that? Well about Mokuba, people started getting afraid of his constant…umm…obsession. So they took a pail of water and dropped it over the fire…

"Noooooo!"

Ahem, well the night went on. Presents were given, heck even Yami Bakura gave out a present. Well if you really want to know who or what Yami Bakura gave, well he gave Mokuba…a…well lighter.

"Flame…burn…"

"That's it my boy" Yami Bakura said while patting Mokuba on the head.

Later on many of them decided to stay and sleep over. Heck, even Kaiba agreed to stay. But before they had to go, they had this to say

"Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!"

-

Psychotic Phreak- Well please review


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